Well, the final report from the pathologist came in, and I was finally given a complete diagnosis. Apparently, I had what is known as "TICC", which is "Taco-Induced Colon Cancer." It's a rare diagnosis, defined as "Colon Cancer that has as its source the excessive overall consumption of tacos, in combination with a high speed of individual taco consumption."
I am gratified to finally know the reason why I got cancer. Unfortunately, despite my current taco drought, I suspect that I will return to my ways, and thus face the prospect of "SOTICC" or "Secondary Occurrence (of) Taco-Induced Colon Cancer".
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