Farewell

Yesterday morning my friend Jeff Emitt died of cancer after a long, long struggle.  I think Jeff was originally diagnosed in 2004 or 2005 - I know it was before my first wife Jessica died because she & Jeff spoke on the phone after his diagnosis.

Jeff and I shared many things in common - we are both Catholics, members of Knights of Columbus Council 645, sailing enthusiasts (Jeff was a better sailor), guitarists (Jeff was a much better guitarist), and both widowed.

I met Jeff in the late 1990's at the Knights of Columbus council hall on Magnolia.  Back in those days, after the Monday night council meeting, some of the Knights would retire to the bar downstairs and hang out or shoot pool.  Greg McGinnis, Stu Metz, Jerry Barkley, Thomas Thornton, Two-Bears Hebert, and I were usually to be found there.  I believe Jeff was the witness to some of the awful games of pool when Two-Bears put the mojo on me and forced me to scratch.  That Indian/Coon-Ass mojo is a hell of a thing!

Jeff (on the left) in the SJS kitchen

While I knew Jeff generally, it was not until the St. Joseph School Mardi Gras dinner in 2002 or 2003 that we really hit it off.  Jeff & I were on the dishwashing crew.  Some of the Montgomery family had smoked entire sides of prime rib for the Mardi Gras, and they had seriously overestimated the attendance.  So, after the paying patrons had been served, Jeff & I descended upon the heaps of prime rib.

Now, Jeff was 6' something and rail thin, whereas I am 5'7" and at the time was already tending to "stocky".  The two of us advancing on the pile of prime rib must have been a hilarious sight.  I can't remember which one of us won the prime rib eating challenge, so it probably wasn't me.  And this was back in the days when I could knock off a 48 ounce prime rib with room to spare.  I don't know where Jeff put all that food.

Jeff waving from the bow of Jim Cortese's boat, K of C summer picnic 2005

I would see Jeff on and off at K of C functions over the years - I hung out with him at his house in south Knoxville on at least one occasion (and was amazed at his wall of amplifiers!).  He began his fight with cancer roughly around the time that Jessica died.  I saw him infrequently, but followed with admiration his determination to enter the seminary when he had emerged victorious from his battle with the disease. At the time I was considering a monastic life once Elena was old enough to be on her own.  I figured I would tough out ten years on my own and then retreat from the world.  Jeff went further - choosing to engage with the world as a priest.  He would have made a great priest.

I kept up with Jeff at holidays and on Facebook.  We were always going to go sailing at some point in the future.  Not too long ago I realized that Jeff was back in Knoxville and that cancer had returned.

Then I was diagnosed with cancer.  Making a pretense that I was coming up to Lake Tansi to play guitar, I visited Jeff in February of this year and let him know that we had one more thing in common.  We spent the morning talking, and then went to his choir practice and met briefly with Fr. Dowling.  Jeff excused himself for a moment and when I went looking for him I caught him exhorting Fr. Dowling to pray for me and my family.  Later that afternoon I packed up to return to Knoxville, promising Jeff that I would come back soon and help him organize his bills.

I never made that return trip.  As always, there are excuses.  Jeff I and spoke by phone a number of times, so I followed along with his decline as he followed my treatments.  In our last conversation, I told him that I would come up to Lake Tansi to see him once I was off of the Lortabs.  Jeff asked "did they tell you that you couldn't drive when you were taking hydrocodone?  That's bullshit."

I am comforted knowing that Jeff ended his days with the support of his children and the church, and that he has taken his place in his "heavenly home."  Farewell, my friend.